Myth: “You’ll understand when you have kids”

Is there anything more obnoxious than when someone with kids shoots down your opinion of children because they have spawn and you don’t?

My peak of rage over this topic came when I was complaining to some coworkers about how a group of people brought babies/infants into the movie theater…to see Once Upon a Time in Mexico. That’s the sequel to Desperado. In a nutshell, it’s crazy violent and it ends with Johnny Depp running around with two eyes bloodied up because they were gauged out. Not exactly a Disney movie.

Anyway one coworker pulled the “you wait till you have kids”. My reply was that my parents only took me to see kids’ movies, and I damn well will do the same. There is no NEED to go to a theater with infants, especially when it’s inappropriate.

Now that I have a kid, my answer is still the same. I would never subject moviegoers to my crying kid, nor would I want my kid to see fast-moving, constant scene-cutting action. I have a DVR and a DVD player. If there’s something mind-blowing that has to be seen in IMAX, then either we can get a sitter or my ┬áhusband can watch with his friends and I’ll later watch it with mine.

Now all of this being said, there is some truth to the statement, but it’s not in the same smug sense as when most people say it.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that your life changes when you have a kid. Or that your sense of worry and responsibility goes up. You don’t need a kid to understand that about people with children.

What I can explain is this: every time you read about an abused/murdered/raped/molested/insert-other-horrible-tragedy with a child, that kid is YOUR kid. Every story you read, you immediately have a sense of ownership for that child, and your heart aches and bleeds for that child and their family. It’s one thing to be disgusted by a horrible news story, it’s another to not be able to breathe and to feel heartache for at least a week.

Pre-baby, I really didn’t give much kidnapping/whatever stories much thought. I mean, sure I felt bad for the family and all of that, but I usually fixated on animal stories. Those ones really broke my heart, because I really just don’t get how people can hurt an animal. Now that I have a baby, I have to stop myself from reading stories. They permeate my brain.

I still think about that 5-year-old who was all stoked to be wearing his Spiderman Halloween costume and was shot by a gang member out of the blue, with no family gang affiliations. The picture just breaks my heart…the little kid all excited, ┬áhis parents must have been all excited…this happened a month after my son was born. That’s 5 years of your life invested into someone hoping for another 70 years of investment totally gone. Plus their kid adored Spiderman…that character is EVERYWHERE. Heck, even when I see Spiderman I think of that kid.

Or that whole Casey Anthony situation in the news right now. I couldn’t fathom going out and partying if my kid were missing. Now granted, she’s probably the killer so that’s why she didn’t give a crap…but I just can’t understand how anyone could possibly function if their child were missing.

I am all for LoJack implants in every kid. Screw privacy. Safety comes first.

So what’t the point in all of this rambling? It’s that the average person does understand what it’s like to have kids without needing to go through it. The only difference is that when you read or see other kids, a part of your brain shifts into thinking that it’s your kid, and what you would feel in that circumstance.

I would go berserk if I worked for social services.

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