Hack for bed guardrails with a platform bed

New guardrail in front, old broken one in the back. Box is upside down...it's a Munchkin guardrail from Target, around $30.

New guardrail in front, old broken one in the back. Box is upside down…it’s a Munchkin guardrail from Target, around $30.

Shortly after I gave birth, we decided it was time to put the toddler rails up in Dean’s crib. And by “decided”, I mean, “we needed to or else he was going to climb over and kill himself”. I wasn’t a fan of it because it was a great method to keep him contained but he just wasn’t having it after Dahlia was born. That’s a whole other tale of how much he regressed behaviorally after she was born, but the short version is that putting him to sleep meant massive screaming on his part until I figured out that if I just stayed in his room until he passed out, it was much better for everyone.

“Everyone” = me.

After a few attempts to climb out and my fear of my c-section wound busting open, splattering my intestines on my new carpet, we put the toddler rails up. Most cribs these days come with a little mini-rail that you can swap out for one side of the crib to extend its use.

Around the same time, we temporarily put our old queen bed on the floor in his room until trash day. My son went ape sh*t for it. He LOVED it. Somehow this morphed into him sleeping on an old queen mattress with old cat pee stains despite having a perfectly good toddler bed.

To wrap up what is already an incredibly boring story, I bought him a platform bed and a full size mattress. No box spring because the bed didn’t need it and we were in “we just bought a new house, have a new baby, and on maternity-leave pay” mode. I got him the Cafekids Lucas Bed from Costco, since it was free setup and delivery. Fabulous purchase, the quality is amazing…I called them with a small issue I had and they immediately overnighted me a brand new piece. This thing is solid as a rock, no particleboard anywhere.

New problem: guardrails. I had gotten an older set from my brother but it seems that you need a large flat surface to lay them on (i.e. a boxspring). We had to position the guardrail bars under the mattress perfectly on the platform bed’s slats.

This worked for a few months until recently, one of them broke. I had slept in his bed that night because he gets night terrors and being next to him stops the hours-long meltdown that ensues (not ideal for two working parents. Or anyone with a pulse who enjoys sleep.) He was sleeping like a madman, writhing around, suddenly I heard a loud BANG from the plastic cracking. He then rolled down the broken guard rail like a grassy hill. And stayed asleep on the carpet.

I couldn’t get a replacement guardrail to match the other side, which thus meant that I  had to buy TWO new guardrails since they connect. Not too stoked about that. But then I figured out a hack to keep the guardrail posts connected to the platform bed without needing to connect to each other (and without needing a boxspring): zip ties!

I simply attached each guardrail post to a slat on the bed.

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I realize I need to fix the top black ziptie or else it’s going to fall off, but you get the drift.

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As you can see, it’s really easy to for the guardrails to slide between the slats when a mattress is placed on top.

Now I don’t need to worry about paying for two guardrails or that one’s going to slide off.

Yay for mismatched guardrails and saving some dough! Construction-themed bedsheets from Target. It's not easy to find full size sheets in kids' prints.

Yay for mismatched guardrails and saving some dough! Construction-themed bedsheets from Target. It’s not easy to find full size sheets in kids’ prints.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

The remains after I blow-dryed my hair while sitting on the edge of the tub. This doesn't include the hair I lost brushing before I showered, hair loss in the shower, and hair loss when I de-tangled after the shower. In a nutshell: I'm going bald. Thanks a lot babies.

The remains after I blow-dryed my hair while sitting on the edge of the tub. This doesn’t include the hair I lost brushing before I showered, hair loss in the shower, and hair loss when I de-tangled after the shower. In a nutshell: I’m going bald. Thanks a lot babies.

Once upon a time, I had thick crazy hair. Like seriously, thick. I could barely wrap a hair tie around my ponytail two times.

Sigh.

As I got older, I started to lose hair. I don’t know what the dealio is because I’m half brown, and Indian women have some seriously thick hair. I got gypped I guess. I’m a hairy beast everywhere else: my armpits, legs, you name it. If I didn’t pluck my eyebrows I’d look like Bert and Ernie’s third roommate.

It got significantly worse each time I went off the pill to get pregnant. But…the saving grace is that when you’re pregnant, you’re blessed with a sh*t ton of hair. It’s like mother nature’s consolation prize for everything else going to hell in a handbasket.

At some point after you give birth, the magic is over. I’m not exaggerating when I say that you wake up and that’s it, your thick hair days are over. After each pregnancy, around month 3, I started losing hair in clumps.

And it hasn’t stopped.

I’m hoping that it’ll get better when I go back on the pill, which I can’t do until I stop breastfeeding. Like I don’t feel crappy enough about my appearance as it is, now I have to add massively thinning hair to the list. Not ideal when you have dark hair and your scalp shows through. I’m dreading the day that I have to get the short mom hair cut.

On the flip side, I’ve gotten hairier everywhere else. I had gotten a few laser hair removal sessions on my armpits (which i had to stop when I got pregnant and was told I can only continue when i’m done breastfeeding because it’s so close to the boobs) and I had managed to get my hair regrowth down from needing to shave daily to shaving every other day. That’s pretty good considering that my armpit hair is akin to a Wookie colony growing in my armpits. A friend of mine who had laser hair removal done years ago told me that after having her daughter, some hairs grew back (it’s a hormonal thing). That’s an understatement. I’m back to being an armpit Wookie…seriously, I get a 5 o’clock shadow in my armpits each day.

So much for my $99 Groupon deal on laser removal.

Latest on 15q13.3 Microduplication Syndrome

Har har har.

Har har har.

Every now and then I peruse the web looking for any new info about Dean’s chromosome disorder (15q13.3 microduplication syndrome…he has an extra piece of genetic material on chromosome 15 which he inherited from me. Yay good parenting, giving your kid a disorder!).

This article came up, it was released in December 2013. Unique is one of two major worldwide organizations that tracks all things genetics. They’re like the CIA of chromosome disorders.

I found a few things interesting. Our geneticist had said that seizures weren’t common for this disorder, but it looks like they are (I think we’re lucky in that it hasn’t happened…yet…to my son). Feeding and sleep disturbances I already knew about, but there’s a small section about frustration and anxiety being an issue with individuals who have this.

I can’t tell you how frustrated my son gets with things. I mean, abnormally so. Most kids if they drop something or fail, they just pick it back up and keep going. Not my son. If he stumbles at doing anything, he immediately yells and cries that he can’t do it. This morning I opened the front door slightly for him and told him to open the door, after barely giving any pull he started crying that he couldn’t do it. It’s like that all. the. time.

Another interesting thing is that this actual disorder wasn’t discovered until 2009, my son was born in 2010. If we had kids say, 5 years ago, would my son just have had a diagnosis of autism and that would be it?

Science is the shiz.

Review: Citrus Lane subscription

You know how websites bombard you with ads based on one random thing you maybe did a search for? If you’re a parent, you’re probably inundated by Citrus Lane ads in your Facebook feed. It’s a monthly subscription box that gives you random baby or kid stuff. The price? $30/month or $21/month if you do 6 month prepayments. Their tagline is that you’re getting $40+ in goods. We’ll see about that.

They suck you in with a first month cheapie deal. Since their cancellation policy is fabulous (just call and cancel. Period.), I figured it’d be worth it with a promo code to test it out. I assumed that they give first-timers the best stuff, to get them to join and then the crap stuff comes later (from what I’ve read on various subscription box review sites).

I paid my $9 and waited for the June box to arrive. I selected my son as my test child, since I already have plenty for my daughter and preschooler ‘ish is more expensive.

June 2014 Citrus Lane box, totally stolen photo courtesy of Google Image search.

June 2014 Citrus Lane box, totally stolen photo courtesy of Google Image search.

I’d show you a picture of the contents but I mistakingly opened it with my son around, and he jumped right in. So here’s a picture of someone else’s box, except instead of getting some body lotion I got a box of fancy shmancy bandaids. Here’s the contents:

1. Two GO bars. I’d say for overpriced granola bars a buck each ($2 total).

2. Melissa and Doug Puffy Pirate Sticker Playset. My son actually went bananas for this, which is good because it’s hard to get him interested in anything non-vehicle. Although his favorite thing was the canon sticker, since it has wheels and looks like a vehicle. ($7)

3. Three two-sided mini puzzles by Crocodile Creek, I can’t vouch for them since they’re 24 pieces each and meant for ages four and up. My son is good at puzzles, but not that good. ($6 each, $18 total value…wtf ripoff for that!)

4. Disney wet bag. I was quite stoked about this, I’ve been wanting a wet bag for my diaper bag for a while now. When your offspring is a baby, you can toss their soiled clothes in a ziplock bag when you’re out, but with a preschooler I’ve learned that unless you’ve got shopping bag handy, you’re SOL. This is perfect. ($10).

5. Ouchies Bandaids. Because your kid needs overpriced bandaids when they hurt themselves. Even a box of Star Wars bandaids doesn’t cost that much. And yes, I realize that “band-aid” is a trademarked name and they’re technically called “adhesive bandages”, whatever. The only reason this bandaids are worth anything is because I can see the tin being great to re-use to store stuff in your diaper bag. ($7).

Go figure, that box is worth $44. They say their stuff is worth more, because you can buy these items on their website at a crazy premium. The puzzles are what jacked up the price, which personally I don’t even remotely think is worth more than a dollar puzzle set.

I canceled my subscription since I’m capable of buying this stuff on my own through Amazon, but I did let my curiosity get the best of me and re-signed up with another promo code (yeah, $5!) to test out their baby stuff for my daughter. That’ll be the July 2014 box and this time, I’ll take a photo.